Trial By Fire

The Battle for Belief Was in Her Own Home

When you make the right choice, you expect things will get better, right? Well, that was not the case for faithful pioneer Jane (Withers) Middleton. After Jane converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, things just kept getting worse.

You see… only half of her family converted. Jane, her father George, and her sister Ann, believed the missionaries and happily joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Her mother Jane, and her two brothers Thomas and George, remained staunchly Methodist. They were not at all cool with the turn of events.

Since Jane’s father George worked for the “English” church as a clerk… he promptly lost his job, plunging the family into financial chaos.¹ Shortly thereafter, George died leaving the family in even more dire straits. Thankfully, Jane’s mother was skilled at needlework and was able to sell her eyelet embroideries, but it was a rough time for the family.

Still, Jane had her sister to help strengthen her faith and stand up to the others in her family that opposed her newfound faith… until she didn’t. Shortly after their father’s death, Ann moved to London with her husband². Jane was the last Latter-day Saint left standing in the household.

And boy, did her mother and brothers seize this opportunity to try to convince her to “see the light.” They attacked the Church, they attacked Joseph Smith, and all together tried to get her to disavow her faith and allegiance to the Church. Despite all of this, Jane stayed strong. She had this to say to her grandchildren about the whole ordeal:

She has told us many times that in the hour of her greatest need, she called upon the Lord to direct her; praying in all humility and faith for His guidance. Suddenly, the room in which she knelt seemed illuminated for a moment, with a glorious flood of light. Then, her heart was satisfied. ³

I am almost positive Jane did not have all the answers or the perfect words to make them understand why she believed. But still, she stood firm.

At merely 15 years of age, she moved out. Which I imagine was a relief! She went to London and then Glasgow working in people’s homes until she could save up enough money to make the journey to join the Saints in Utah. Even though she was away from her family’s consistent disapproval, her employers also tried to convince her she was wrong. I am not sure what, if anything, they said about her religion, but they did try to convince her that moving to Utah was not in her best interest. (Perhaps it wasn’t in theirs??).

Still, Jane’s faith, though tested, was not to be shaken. After a long six years of saving, she made the journey to Utah— first by ship, then by train, and finally by walking to the Salt Lake Valley. ⁴

Despite all the opposition she faced, she kept doing what she felt was right and was finally rewarded for it. She met her husband on the pioneer trial and was married quickly upon her arrival to the Salt Lake Valley.

I wonder if Jane was ever glad for her trials. I suspect she was not happy to go through them in the moment— but what about after?

Because as someone who is the only convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in my own family… I can relate to Jane. My experience is not one that I would wish on anyone — and probably still need to heal from— but it is an experience I am intensely grateful for.

My parents did not want me to join the Church… they didn’t even want me dating the Latter-day Saint man (spoiler alert: he’s now my husband). They used every tool in the anti-Latter-day Saint toolbox to try to stop me. From threatening to disown me, to making baseless claims about the Church and their beliefs, to telling my boyfriend he’s tearing apart my family, to having a pastor talk with me for eight hours to convince me to break up with my boyfriend and not join the Church.

It was tough. I was scared. I was terrified I was making the wrong choices. I was trying to do what was right. And in doing so, I found myself at 19 years old actively rebelling against my parents for the first time. I didn’t want to disappoint my parents or upset them. My “rebellion” was simply a search for the truth.

I admire Saints like Jane. Saints who had a quick conversion to the gospel, but remained stalwart and steadfast in the face of criticism and opposition. That is amazing… but not me.

It took me longer to get there. I spent a whole year talking to the missionaries once a week, asking them my questions. A whole year of reading the Bible and Book of Mormon. A whole year of pondering and praying. A whole year of struggling with my parents opposition while trying to figuring out what I really believed.

It was an intense experience— one where I can’t share everything that went down because I still want to protect my parents & their feelings.

Still… I am grateful for it. If my conversion had been quick and easy, I’m not sure that I would stay. I would be easily swayed by the slippery slope “Mormon influencers”. I would be cut down by questions. I would falter at accusations against Joseph Smith or our Church history.

But because I had to fight for my faith, my roots are deep. I know that there is no other place for me. I have even been known to say, Either the Church is true or God is not real. For me, those are the only two options.

So… I wonder. I wonder if Jane was grateful too. Grateful that she had the opportunity to defend and strengthen her faith while it was still in its infancy. I am sure that she, like me, would have preferred that her whole family converted. Or at least that they didn’t attack her faith. But, that’s the thing about trials—isn’t it? We’d really rather not have to go through them at all. But since they are a part of our purpose here, at least we can be grateful for what we’ve gained through them.

I don’t know if Jane ever looked back and felt gratitude for her struggles. But I know that, despite everything, I do. Not because they were easy, but because they gave my faith lasting strength.

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1. "Sketch of the life of Jane Withers Middleton Utah Pioneer of 1862." University of Utah Digital Collections, https://collections.lib.utah.edu/ark:/87278/s6jh5r9p. Accessed 4 Mar. 2025.

2. My research suggests that she moved away when she got married, but that does not work with the timelines given on family search. I am going off of the family histories, and assuming that she left shortly after the father’s death but I am unsure of exactly how long it was. However, seeing as Jane moved out quickly after, I would assume Ann moved quickly as well or perhaps moved out before his death and my family historian was mistaken.

3. Fonnesbeck, Jean Brown. “Jane Withers Middleton." FamilySearch, https://www.familysearch.org/en/tree/person/memories/KWJH-H9X. Accessed 4 Mar. 2025

4. Note: All of the information about Jane is taken from the two sources listed above. Dates & names taken or verified from her family search account here.

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